Archive for the ‘Over a Cup of Coffee’ Category

Thank You.

From Toni.

My fiance (now husband) and I met with our minister a month before our wedding. Our minister asked, “Have you discussed your expectations?”

“Expectations?,” we both asked.

“It’s important to discuss your expectations from each other. For example, do you expect him to come home early after work? Is a home-cooked dinner something he can expect from you? Things like that,” our minister shared.

We both shrugged. Our minister sighed. The truth is we had not thought about sharing expectations until he brought it up! But it is one of the most important points for discussion with your partner before getting married. Some expectations we eventually did end up discussing were:

1. We would live on our own. In our culture, it is normal for the newlyweds to stay at the bride’s family’s home first. My husband and I wanted to be independent right away, so we hunted for an apartment to rent.

2. We would start building a family right away. Children could be a big part of your marriage, so aligning on family planning would be great. Both of us agreed that we would start trying for a baby right away. But life happens, and we both discovered we weren’t ready yet. We wanted to enjoy our newlywed life first! At least expectations were clear from both of us going in.

3. We would split the bills a particular way. Money is another big part of your marriage. Agreeing on how to manage finances is something you have to discuss. Talking about money could be awkward at first, but you have to do it.

4. We’d visit family once a week. My husband and I have close relationships with each of our own families, so agreeing to visit our parents and siblings once a week was something we both delighted in. We still try to do this as much as we can.

5. We wouldn’t force ideals on each other. His Mom is a fantastic cook, and I’m a crap cook, honestly. He was used to coming home to wonderful dinners and filling meals. I made it clear to him that I would try to learn how to cook, but not to expect anything grand. What happened was that our early newlywed meals were mostly take-out, but that was fine with him. (I’m still trying to learn how to cook.)

Discussing expectations isn’t easy, but it’s best to do so you and your partner are on the same page before getting married. It’ll make for an even healthier relationship, and you may discover more things about each other that you’d have to learn to adjust to. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

Photo by slfood02

12 Awesome Tips.

1. Stay true to yourself. You don’t have to give up your own passions and interests once you become a mom. It’s important that you find time for what YOU love to do. Reading, writing, exercising – make these a priority and find a way to incorporate those into your routine. Easier said than done, I know, but you should at least aim to keep doing what you love, even if you don’t get to do it as often as before. If you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mom.

2. Don’t be a martyr. The kids didn’t ask for it, they don’t need it, and they certainly don’t need to pay the price that comes with being mothered by a martyr. Need some time alone? Let the kids watch TV for an hour and go read a book. Feel like you haven’t had adult interaction in ages? Leave them with Dad for the evening and make plans to have dinner with a friend. Getting to the point where you are utterly exhausted is not good for you or for your kids.

3. Don’t try to be perfect. This is true for life in general, and is a major personal goal of mine, regardless of motherhood. Striving for perfection is always a bad idea, because life is messy and unpredictable and full of surprises. Trying to create perfection, or to maintain complete control, is simply impossible and should never be your goal. Once you become a mom, life is messier and crazier than ever before, so it’s more important than ever to let go of that perfectionism. You need to accept that the house will sometimes be untidy, that once in a while dinner will be takeout, and that the kids will sometimes have to entertain themselves while you recharge and regroup.

Read the rest of this entry »

Go over and check this post out… it made me feel so good. I wanted to give that guy a big hug and arm pump! Here’s an excerpt to get you started:

"If I were feeling a little more lawless, I’d gather all the copies of Cosmo and Seventeen, douse them in kerosene, and strike a match.  I’d throw in reams of print ads from Calvin Klein and watch with delight as Kate Moss’ stick-thin image was reduced to carbon.  I’d add copies of Shape and Runner’s World until the flames reached toward the heavens, and then I’d crank call the editorial desk at Muscle and Fitness until they stopped publishing pictures of women on steroids."

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of ‘office boy’ at Microsoft. The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

‘You are employed’ he said. Give me your e-mail address and I’ll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied ‘But I don’t have a computer, neither an email’. ‘I’m sorry’, said the HR manager. If you don’t have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn’t exist, cannot have the job.’

The man left with no hope at all. He didn’t know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours, he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US. He started to plan his family’s future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan. When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email. The man replied,’I don’t have an email.’ The broker answered curiously, ‘You don’t have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!’ The man thought for a while and replied, ‘Yes, I’d be an office boy at Microsoft!’

Moral of the story

Moral 1
Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2
If you don’t have Internet, but work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3
If you received this message by email,
you are closer to being an office boy/girl, than a m

I’ve come across this good read from a blog I read daily. Her post was called “Buying into Life” and was about the happiness gained by spending  money on experiences rather than things.  This is something that we have a family have chosen to do and it is interesting to hear that studies have been done on it.

Read this.

Listen this.

Here are certain points:

1. The initial excitement of a new possession fades over time, usually 6-8 weeks. (And in my opinion and experience, I think that’s why there are shopaholics. They crave the initial "high" of a purchase.) Experiences continue to provide happiness through memories long after the event.
2. Experiences draw people closer. Common and shared experiences with family & friends are often what draw us together. This fulfills our need for social bonding and brings satisfaction.
3. People felt a greater sense of "being alive" during the experience and in reflection.
4. When you spend money on experiences there’s less of the "keeping up with the joneses" phenomenon. Experiences are unique and so we are less likely to compare ourselves to other people and feel inferior.