Archive for the ‘Over a Cup of Coffee’ Category

I was browsing some diet supplements when I chanced upon this article defining the 00’s. I thought it was a nice read.

No one is quite sure yet what this last decade will be called as we move forward and start trying to define, understand, and compartmentalize it. The ’80s were all about big hair, glam rock, and general excess. The ’90s were the decade of grunge, flannel, and angst. What will we collectively decide the ’00s were all about? And how will we pronounce it?

I say we should all band together and call this departing decade the "ohs." None of this "noughties" or "two-thousands" nonsense. Who’s with me?

On that note, here is my non-comprehensive list of items that have characterized the ’00s. What would you add to it?

1. The cell-phone explosion. I got my first cell phone in 1999, and I knew plenty of people who were still vehemently resisting the trend. "I’ve survived this long without one," they’d say, just before capitulating and becoming instantly dependent.
2. Closely related to item #1 is the rise of texting. It’s so convenient. So pervasive. So annoying.
3. Text and e-mail shorthand. LMAO! ROFL!
4. Capri pants. How I shall be sad to see them go away. (Or have they already? Not in my wardrobe.)
5. Apple mania. The iPod, the iPhone, the iMac, the iEverything. I’ve heard it suggested that we call the ’00s the iDecade (for more reasons than Apple alone).

6. Customization. Get your purple iPod, your designer M&Ms, your photo on a Kleenex box.

7. Google and the verbification thereof. "Hang on, let me google that for you…"

8. High heels with jeans. In particular, ridiculously impractical pointy-toe high heels.

9. The rise of the entitled generation. Go ahead, google this phrase; you’ll get 14.6 million results. (Members of the entitled generation do NOT realize that they’re entitled, so shhh…)

10. Empire-waist tops and skinny jeans. I hope empire-waist tops stick around for another decade. For once, there’s a trend that flatters my body—and pretty much everybody’s body.

11. The return of bangs. Come on, how many of us finally tried some softly sideswept bangs after eschewing them for two decades because of the bang nightmare of the ’80s? Thanks Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Garner!

15. The rumpled, tousled look in men’s hair. (And I’m not just talking about Robert Pattinson. Think Jason Bateman, Matthew McConaughey, Prince William.)

13. Self-publishing. Everyone’s blogging, vlogging, posting to YouTube, broadcasting who they are and what they’re doing at every minute of the day.

14. Along the same lines as #12, we have: connectivity. Cell phones, Blackberries, iPhones, laptops, linkedin.com, myspace.com, Facebook, Flickr, Twitter. The ’00s were all about being plugged in and hooked up.

15. Red Mini Coopers and lime green VW Beetles: the iconic ’00s cars. Right?

16. Out-of-control neologisms. (Neologism = newly coined word.) You know what I’m talking about: "metrosexual," "Bennifer," "Brangelina," "fugly," "staycation," "womenomics," and the list goes endlessly on.

17. Domesticity, ruffly aprons, everyday gourmet, Rachel Ray.

18. Oprah verging on becoming a supernatural being. Back in the ’90s, who could have predicted the power Oprah would one day wield? (Besides Oprah herself, that is.)

19. Environmentalism. Green is the new black.

20. The cult of creativity. Everything’s handmade, homemade, self-made, DIY. I place scrapbooking firmly in this category, thanks in part to the proliferation of digital cameras. Go ahead, embrace that inner artist!

If you believe in horoscopes or are curious as to what lies ahead for you this year – look no more. Whether you are a celebrity, housewife or energy auditor, you can see what is in store for you in this year of the tiger! 

TIGER
1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010

Zodiac’s Nature:

Unpredictable, rebellious, colorful, powerful, passionate, daring, impulsive, vigorous, stimulating, sincere, affectionate, humanitarian, generous. Can be restless, reckless, impatient, quick-tempered, obstinate, selfish, aggressive.

2010 is the year of the Golden Tiger so people born in the year of the Tiger are said to be offending the Grand Duke (Tai Suey Wu Hang) of the year and this will usher in inauspicious and difficult periods from time to time throughout the year. It is important that they should try to avoid going to funerals or attending wakes. If it cannot be avoided then they should not go home or go back to the office directly from the funeral or wake. Instead, they should stop by a restaurant or a crowded area along the way like a supermarket or a shopping mall. This is symbolic of shedding off the bad luck or negative energy in another place and not bringing it back to home or to the office. Then they must bathe with water that has been boiled with pomelo leaves to minimize their bad luck.

Tigers are offending the Tai Suey this year; scientifically they are affected by the unseen negative force from Jupiter on the Earth at 60 degrees Northeast. So, there are many unlucky stars that are gathered under their sign and present in their life cycle in year 2010, there is also a lack of lucky stars. They will face many problems and persecutions both in their work and private life. Thus, they should handle their work cautiously to avoid great failures.

In general, 2010 is not a good year for Tiger people, due to the influence of the planet Jupiter, thus Tigers should be flexible to cope with the sudden changes during the year. They have to mind their own business to avoid getting involved in disputes. They should steer clear from rumors and gossip. Beware of road safety to avoid accident. They will have some movement this year which translates as a chance to move house, change career or travel etc. However, it is important to keep in mind that they have to be more patient, keep a low profile and avoid conflict with people. Tigers should try to be humble enough to accept advice from older people because they must understand that experience cannot be purchased. A Chinese proverb says: “With one careless move, the whole game is over” and “There is always a person above the other”.

Although Tigers offend the Tai Suey this year, they will have a Powerful Star under their sign so that they can delegate and they will have more authority in their work. Conversely, they will face more challenges and annoyances that will cause them to have more stress and pressure. To conquer all the coming challenges, they should relax more and lift up their fighting spirit.

Financially, money luck is easy come and easy go; they can hardly save money this year. Therefore, they should be more conservative in handling their business and financial affairs especially in the lunar months of January, April and July. It is not a good year to start a new business or undergo expansion unless they are Tigers born in the lunar months of July, August, September, November and December. For these Tigers, they will have better luck this year and their chances of success are big.

Thus, these Tigers should treasure the timing and be alert to grasp opportunities to exhibit their talents throughout the year. Tigers should not be greedy because as I’ve said every year “Being too greedy will cause one to be poor” and will also cause bad luck to follow soon after. You can see in the year 2009 Year of the Earth Ox, if people were not too greedy for high interest returns then they would not have lost all their money in the stock market and other investments which in turn greatly contributed to the global crisis. So, it is absolutely not lucky for Tigers to invest in the stock market. Keep away from gambling and beware of money traps especially when engaged in contract signing. It is important not to lend money or be a loan guarantor otherwise they will suffer in the months to come. Instead, Tigers have to march, step by step to be successful this year.

In love affairs, this is not a romantic year for Tigers and they should not expect too much. They will easily have misunderstandings. Apart from this, they are quite emotional, jealous and suspicious. So, they should keep a clear mind since this will help them have a stable relationship. They have to be especially cautious in the lunar months of January, April, July and August. Regarding health, due to the influence of the unlucky stars; they should keep away from sharp objects and beware especially of road safety. Pay special attention when driving in the highway and avoid talking on the phone or texting while driving. Try to avoid any dangerous sports. Be cautious in the lunar months of January, April, May, June, July, August and October. It is important to do more exercise and be patient to avoid struggling with people. The younger generation of Tigers especially should avoid having too much nightlife since this is the way to avoid unnecessary troubles. Apart from this, Tigers should avoid visiting patients and attending funerals or wakes. For their protection, they have to carry a “Safety Medallion”, and a “White Jade Gourd” to avoid accidents. Try to have a blood test or donate blood in the beginning of this year after February 4, 2010. Do more charity. If possible, eat more vegetables than meat. Keeping happy always will help Tigers have better luck.

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It seems that the FDA (again) is on the hot seat. With the mounting cases against that diet pill, Yaz, lawsuits have been popping up in alarming levels. As of writing, I think there are now more than 50 different lawsuits against the manufacturing company that is unrelated to its manufacturing process.

Yaz is an oral contraceptive pill manufactured by Bayer and is nearly identical to the Yasmin birth control pill. It has been aggressively marketed without adequate warnings about serious and potentially life-threatening side effects.

Yaz Problems have been reported to be serious and life-threatening:

• Heart Attack or Stroke
• Deep Vein Thrombosis (DVT)>
• Pulmonary Embolism (PE)
• Gallbladder Disease
• Sudden Death on Yaz

There is a key ingredient in Yaz which makes it dangerous for some people. Drospirenone can increase blood potassium levels, known as hyperkalemia, which can result in the Yaz heart problems and other side effects. You are entitled to compensation if you have suffered from its side effects but the damage has been done. I just hope that the FDA comes up with stricter regulations regarding list prescription drugs. Quality assurance and standards should never be compromised. We are talking about human lives here.

FDA has received 50 reported deaths due to Yaz already. Wake up people!

I have never been interested in family law. I aim never to have to need to learn about child custody, divorce proceedings, alimony, and legal issues regarding separation because I would work very hard to keep our marriage intact. Unfortunately, not that much can be said among families today. Studies  estimated that 40% of all marriages have ended in divorce as of 2008 and 46% of all marriages involve a remarriage for one or both spouses. That sounds a tad bit depressing don’t you think so?

While you would need the best Athens GA Divorce Lawyers to protect your interests when legal proceedings are under way, you will never be able to protect your family’s prized possessions from the trauma and heartache of it all – your children. That is what an Atlanta divorce attorney strives to make sure to lessen the trauma, especially when children are tasked to appear in court, in child custody and support proceedings. Divorce Lawyers Alpharetta GA in Georgia are familiar with child custody and support especially the Kitchens, New and Cleghorn LLC Family Law Attorneys. In Georgia, for example, where they practice, there are two types of child custodies: the legal kind, joint legal custody, states that both parents have the right to contribute to major decisions regarding their children, and both parents share equal responsibility in carrying out those decisions. Joint physical custody, on the other hand, refers to the amount of time that a child is permitted to spend with each parent.

I believe in the sanctity of marriage so I would never advice that divorce to be the only solution to a failing marriage. However, if there are really no options left, you need the best kind of lawyers to represent you in court, so make sure you get the services of Kitchens, New and Cleghorn LLC .

I am not. I still have a million things to do and just as about every time I get overwhelmed, I do nothing.

1. I need to do one last general cleaning of the house before we go out of town for the new year.
2. I would need to renew all policies (Wholesale Insurance) before December 29th, the last day of the working year.
3. I need to dispose all the trash aka toy boxes and gift wrapping papers lying around the house.
4. I need to finish all work so I can make sure I can get paid on time next year.

“Perhaps the most difficult choices to make are the ones that deny us what our heart wants most, because as it’s been said, without reason and without prudence, the heart wants what the heart wants, and more often than not, it will not be denied.”

After pigging out on Christmas with the most delicious food, tradition dictates that we celebrate the new year by welcoming it with a big bang. That is why there is always a fireworks display when the clock strikes midnight and there are trumpets, clappers and maracas (toy ones) for the kids to play with. I have heard (and seen) horror tales of fingers getting cut off or poisoning due to ingestion of hazardous chemicals used in fireworks so I strongly advise families to have emergency medical supplies just in case. You can get these at JazzMedical.

Or, you can do a better option and welcome the new year with a prayer!

I am a firm believer and supporter of all natural products. Not only do they come cheaper (in som cases), these eco-friendly products do not harm the environment, in fact, they can even help save it. We are in the times when we need to take drastic action to preserve whatever is left of Mother Earth and each one of us should do our share to help protect it.

How do you take care of your skin naturally?

I have very sensitive skin. I tend to break out whenever I use skin care products on my skin, whatever it maybe. I have stuck with a skin care routine my Mom taught me and initiated me with since I was 9 – and it has worked well. I have never had any breakouts and my skin has stayed clear ever since. I use natural skin care ingredients too – jojoba, safflower oil, rose hip seed oil, shea butter, beeswax, witch hazel, aloe vera, tea tree oil, and chamomile.

Here are some of its uses:
Jojoba oil has moisturizing properties. It is used in most lotion and oils – especially for dry skin and babies’ skin.

Rose hip oil has healing properties. It is used for a variety of skin conditions, including dermatitis, acne and eczema, for mature and sun burnt skin as well as brittle nails and wrinkles. Rose hip oil is also frequently used to heal scarring and diminish photo-aging. You may see it as an active ingredient in most stretch mark creams.

Shea butter is famously known as a moisturizer cream and emulsion . It has known to be effective at treating the following conditions: fading scars, eczema, burns, rashes, acne, severely dry skin, blemishes, dark spots, skin discolorations, chapped lips, stretch marks, wrinkles, and in lessening the irritation of psoriasis. It provides natural ultraviolet sun protection, although the level of protection is extremely variable, ranging from nothing to approximately SPF 6. It is preferred because the butter absorbs rapidly into the skin without leaving a greasy feeling.

Beeswax can be used like petroleum jelly – as a lubricant and a barrier cream. I actually use this for waxing. It doesn’t irritate my skin as much.

Aloe Vera has had many claims to its benefits, as a moisturizer with soothing and healing properties. So famous has this been that you can find it as an ingredient to many products such as makeup, tissues, moisturizers, soaps, sunscreens, incense, razors and shampoos. I particularly use this for my dry hair.

Tee tree oil has antiseptic and antifungal, antibacterial actions – very well-known to treat pimples.

Save your skin while saving the Earth. Use only natural products!

Dear Santa,

I’ve been very good this year. Save from eating too much, I have not done anything intentionally wrong to hurt anybody. I hope I can get any of these in time for Christmas.

1. A Kindle
2. A Canon Powershot SD990
3. Wii and its corresponding wii accessories

But I would very much want these:
1. 24 hours of me time just to scrap.
2. 4 hours more of my usual 4-hour sleep time.
3. A day at the spa.
4. An overnight hotel accomodation
5. Baby sitter. For about a week.
6. Cleaning Lady. Forever please.

It came as a shock to hear about Oprah Winfrey’s announcement that her long standing show Oprah is coming to an end. Her show, spanning 25 seasons, have 6.8 million viewers, standing tall and above the rest among other talk shows. "Here is the real reason: I love this show. This show has been my life and I love it enough to know when its time to say goodbye," Winfrey said.

Not that Oprah Winfrey will be any less visible. It is expected that she will be opening a new show soon, under The Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), and have more activities lined up for Harpo Productions – her multi-media outfit production company.

Oprah’s legendary sense of style and taste have clearly been seen in her show and her “O” magazine. It is no wonder that opening an Oprah store would come naturally. The Oprah Store, the official store of the Oprah Winfrey Show, houses 900 products that include souvenir items, loungewear, activewear, sleepwear, basics, O baby, and select South African arts and crafts.

It not surprising that is carries womens plus size clothing as Oprah herself has had to deal with plus-size issues all throughout her show. There are a lot of stuff on clearance that would make ideal Christmas gifts too.

Do not get misled though, that the store is only for women’s clothing. Things that Oprah loves are also there from blankets to umbrellas and baby stuff.

There are a lot of yoga clothing on sale, you might want to check them out too.

Some of the things that I love:

If you remember, I have blogged about controversial PETA ads before (flubber whale aimed at obesity amongst other things) and this one takes the cake especially since it’s the start of the holiday season.

The controversial Santa Clause ad says that normal cow milk can make men suffer impotency. And that taking the Viagra pill doesn’t guarantee that it will be solved at all. In fact, there are reports that 40% of men who take it don’t feel the effects at all. It was also reported the women can take the pill too, to increase their libido. PETA feels strongly in advocating people go the natural way.

As proven by medical science, obesity, diabetes, high cholesterol, prostate cancer, and hormonal imbalances are just some of the health problems that cause male impotency. Eating a diet rich in leafy greens, fruits, and grains will help you lose weight, prevent onset of diabetes, clear clogged arteries and stabilize hormones. PETA takes it one step further by telling people to ditch “artery-clogging” meat and dairy products as well (therein lies the normal cow milk causes impotency ad).

They even have a catchy tag line:

Vegetarians do make better lovers.

Here are some of their controversial impotency ads:

source.

I can never imagine life without chocolates.

I say that, because a friend who has two kids ages 9 and 7, and they have never tasted any forms of chocolate like milk chocolate their whole lives. I cannot even begin to imagine how that must feel like!

I’m a self-confessed sweet tooth. I have a great weakness to chocolate.

Add caramel and I go weak in the knees.

Add almonds, hazelnuts or just plain nuts and I go ga-ga.

My all time favorite chocolates are Twix, Mars (I don’t see this anymore, so sad), Almond Rocha and surprise — Dove Chocolate!

I prefer getting chocolate over flowers – and would often request that to my husband. My kids have inherited my love for chocolates as they need to have one after every meal. You can now tell that the recent Trick or Treat was very good for them. They seemed to have eaten more chocolates (and a lot of sugar) than they should for a night. I already told a friend to buy us the big assorted small bite packs when chocolate go on sale after Thanksgiving – they usually are on sale during that time. I plan to package them into loot bags to give away to children who sing carols during the holiday season. Instead of giving them money, which I do not know where they will spend on, I will give them chocolates – because let’s face it, anyone who receives chocolates is going to be a happy camper!

Chocolates are the classic gift choice for people during Christmas season! It has been proven to release endorphins which make people happy. It also has serotonin, which acts as an anti-depressant. And the holiday season is a happy season, right? Add to that they have a good number of anti-oxidants which prevent aging.

So tell me, who wants chocolates this Christmas?

While blogging, Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook have brought us to a new level of communication on a mass level, there certainly has drawbacks.

For one thing, how can you be sure that people actually are more sociable? Just go to the malls and you see thousands of people on cellphones or laptops, not making talk to the people they are beside with. (Maybe they are just updating their status on FB and Twitter?) They are silent walking zombies, their fingers are their mouths now.

Are relationships really better? Shallow relationships just because of web connections are on the rise. I am scared it will make my kids anti-social in the future.

Are we accomplishing more everyday? I know I am NOT.

Obesity is on the rise because people are ignoring their exercise equipment and are in front of the computer the whole day (I am guilty of that). My son even complained of not being able to sleep after playing FB application games the whole day last weekend.

Yep, Social Media Marketing Madness alright!

I saw this posted over at Twitter and it reminded me to to do something I wanted to do ever since I got interested in politics again. Scratch that. Ever since I cared for the country again. For the kids. For the future of my family.

See, I have always been the apathetic citizen. Even at the height of most controversies, I don’t react. I get irritated – but that’s the only feeling you can get from me. I have become a cynic, after all. I have lost hope in my country and do not believe that a single citizen like me can change the country.

See, I am 28 and am not a registered voter. Hence, I never voted. You can never blame me for choosing the wrong people in office right now. But you can blame me for not even trying to try swinging the vote to the good side (even if there is ALWAYS massive cheating).

But that stops now. Because I want to care. For my kids. For my future.

So register and vote, will you?
This is the most that my blog will get political, I promise.

THE END

I have been closely monitoring US President Barrack Obama’s health care reform plan for days. Parts of it I still cannot understand, like how getting all American citizens health insurance (their basic right, mind you) is regarded as controversial.

Quoting what Obama said in an interview:

In the United States of America, no one should have to worry that they’ll go without health insurance — not for one year, not for one month, not for one day.

"And once I sign my health reform plan into law, they won’t

This issue hits close to home. As a mom who has been hospitalized once a year WITHOUT health insurance, it was a pain in the neck and draining to our very limited financial funds. It was a good thing that the husband’s office gives away payday advances so we were able to secure cash in such a short amount of time.

Not anybody can be granted a payday loan though. For starters, you need to have a job which has your salary directed to your current account, because you need a checkbook and a debit card for this. Of course once you get paid, you need to pay the full amount plus interest too. There are other financial payment plans one can avail of (if you also cannot afford to pay it all at the same time).

Here’s to health insurance – may it be a basic human right.

“Now, we have inscribed a new memory alongside those others. It’s a memory of tragedy and shock, of loss and mourning. But not only of loss and mourning. It’s also a memory of bravery and self-sacrifice, and the love that lays down its life for a friend–even a friend whose name it never knew. “
- Pres. George W. Bush

I was on 24-hour duty at the hospital when it happened. I just arrived at the lab after extracting blood from a patient in the ICU when I noticed everyone was at the blood bank completely silent, watching something in the TV. I saw an airplane crash into a building and I thought it must be an accident. Not only did I not think of it as being a terrorist attack, I wasn’t able to comprehend it was happening in New York, in the United States, the most powerful country in the world. When the newscaster said that the Twin Towers of New York City has been under terrorist attack, I was terrified. I was trying to reach for my dreams, finishing school, dreaming of going there – my son was only 9 months old. If it can happen to them, what more to us?

I cried when I saw the building crumble. I imagined all the people there – the families they left behind, their children who would never see them. I wanted to go home, lock myself up and just be with my son. But I had to live, and lived I did. Each year, the memories of 911 seem to be more vague than the last, because, unfortunately, there were far worse things that had happened, maybe not on the worldwide level, but has directly affected how and the way we live here.

But I had to live, we have to live, and living we are.

We always have a choice to move forward and live the life we want.

PETA’s new billboard campaign have been raising eyebrows and ire in Jacksonville, Florida especially among women groups.

A drawing on billboards in Jacksonville depicts an obese woman with the phrase, "Save The Whales, Lose The Blubber: Go Vegetarian."

They have officially released a statement that says:

A new PETA billboard campaign that was just launched in Jacksonville reminds people who are struggling to lose weight — and who want to have enough energy to chase a beach ball — that going vegetarian can be an effective way to shed those extra pounds that keep them from looking good in a bikini. [....]

Anyone wishing to achieve a hot "beach bod" is reminded that studies show that vegetarians are, on average, about 10 to 20 pounds lighter than meat-eaters. [...]

"Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. "PETA has a free ‘Vegetarian Starter Kit’ for people who want to lose pounds while eating as much as they like.

Hmmmm…while I admit that PETA’s ad campaigns have always been controversial, they never have targeted a specific group of people like this.

And being a fat woman myself, seeing a close replica of what I look like in a red polka-dot bikini beside the word “WHALES” is offensive – too much hidden marketing psy-chol-o-gy sh*t right there people.

But then, I’m not one who easily gets hurt or offended so there. If it encourages “whales” to convert and lose weight, I’m all for it. But there will still be a few polka-dots who will think otherwise.

I would have the following in abundance:
jeans – because I’m a jeans person
shoes – because I’m a shoe person
designer bags – because I love bags

And I would have a kick-ass fast computer with large LCD, a laptop, netbook and two cameras.

But alas, money has always been an option. The world doesn’t revolve around money but you have to admit that money makes the world go around. These days, you would need a cash advance on even the basic commodities like food and shelter – just to make it through the month. Sometimes it makes me wonder if life really is fair, because I see a couple with seven kids and no money and a rich couple with no kids.

And if you look closely, the only thing they want is something they are trying hard to get – in this case, the poor couple doesn’t see their kids as blessings and just see money solves things. And the rich couple would gladly lose everything just to have a kid of their own.

Ironic twist of fate, isn’t it?

A Philippine President’s dinner at a New York restaurant amounting to PhP1M made headlines this week. With the country’s economy falling behind its Asian counterparts and surveys showing that 90% of its people go hungry everyday, it sparked furious protests, disappointment and censure even from the Roman Catholic Church (the country being predominantly Catholic).

It didn’t help that a local mayor announced that the money spent on the dinner could have fed 3,000 families three times in a day. While most families need around Php 30,000 for their basic needs, the average salary is still at Php 12, 000, prompting payday loans and credit card debt to shoot up.

And a comment from her cabinet made it worse, when he said “Where do you want to have a President eat? A hotdog stand?”

Excuse me, ignorant toad, the head of the most powerful country in the world, dined in a hamburger joint. And he lined up and paid for it himself, from his pocket.

Over a cup of coffee folks. But this morning, all I want is throw the steaming cup into that greedy woman. I wonder if her greed consumes her 4’11” frame. Obviously, yes.

What about Betty?!
Archie Comic Books 600th book has this on cover. And while they do not release up until next month, it sure will be sold out, even if Archie and the gang are imaginary people, they have been real to Generation X, Y and Z people.

Read more here.

Thank You.

From Toni.

My fiance (now husband) and I met with our minister a month before our wedding. Our minister asked, “Have you discussed your expectations?”

“Expectations?,” we both asked.

“It’s important to discuss your expectations from each other. For example, do you expect him to come home early after work? Is a home-cooked dinner something he can expect from you? Things like that,” our minister shared.

We both shrugged. Our minister sighed. The truth is we had not thought about sharing expectations until he brought it up! But it is one of the most important points for discussion with your partner before getting married. Some expectations we eventually did end up discussing were:

1. We would live on our own. In our culture, it is normal for the newlyweds to stay at the bride’s family’s home first. My husband and I wanted to be independent right away, so we hunted for an apartment to rent.

2. We would start building a family right away. Children could be a big part of your marriage, so aligning on family planning would be great. Both of us agreed that we would start trying for a baby right away. But life happens, and we both discovered we weren’t ready yet. We wanted to enjoy our newlywed life first! At least expectations were clear from both of us going in.

3. We would split the bills a particular way. Money is another big part of your marriage. Agreeing on how to manage finances is something you have to discuss. Talking about money could be awkward at first, but you have to do it.

4. We’d visit family once a week. My husband and I have close relationships with each of our own families, so agreeing to visit our parents and siblings once a week was something we both delighted in. We still try to do this as much as we can.

5. We wouldn’t force ideals on each other. His Mom is a fantastic cook, and I’m a crap cook, honestly. He was used to coming home to wonderful dinners and filling meals. I made it clear to him that I would try to learn how to cook, but not to expect anything grand. What happened was that our early newlywed meals were mostly take-out, but that was fine with him. (I’m still trying to learn how to cook.)

Discussing expectations isn’t easy, but it’s best to do so you and your partner are on the same page before getting married. It’ll make for an even healthier relationship, and you may discover more things about each other that you’d have to learn to adjust to. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.

Photo by slfood02

12 Awesome Tips.

1. Stay true to yourself. You don’t have to give up your own passions and interests once you become a mom. It’s important that you find time for what YOU love to do. Reading, writing, exercising – make these a priority and find a way to incorporate those into your routine. Easier said than done, I know, but you should at least aim to keep doing what you love, even if you don’t get to do it as often as before. If you take care of your own needs, you will be happier and will function better as a mom.

2. Don’t be a martyr. The kids didn’t ask for it, they don’t need it, and they certainly don’t need to pay the price that comes with being mothered by a martyr. Need some time alone? Let the kids watch TV for an hour and go read a book. Feel like you haven’t had adult interaction in ages? Leave them with Dad for the evening and make plans to have dinner with a friend. Getting to the point where you are utterly exhausted is not good for you or for your kids.

3. Don’t try to be perfect. This is true for life in general, and is a major personal goal of mine, regardless of motherhood. Striving for perfection is always a bad idea, because life is messy and unpredictable and full of surprises. Trying to create perfection, or to maintain complete control, is simply impossible and should never be your goal. Once you become a mom, life is messier and crazier than ever before, so it’s more important than ever to let go of that perfectionism. You need to accept that the house will sometimes be untidy, that once in a while dinner will be takeout, and that the kids will sometimes have to entertain themselves while you recharge and regroup.

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Go over and check this post out… it made me feel so good. I wanted to give that guy a big hug and arm pump! Here’s an excerpt to get you started:

"If I were feeling a little more lawless, I’d gather all the copies of Cosmo and Seventeen, douse them in kerosene, and strike a match.  I’d throw in reams of print ads from Calvin Klein and watch with delight as Kate Moss’ stick-thin image was reduced to carbon.  I’d add copies of Shape and Runner’s World until the flames reached toward the heavens, and then I’d crank call the editorial desk at Muscle and Fitness until they stopped publishing pictures of women on steroids."